One thing we didn't want were 182 different parties where people had to make a big trek and give us a bunch of presents. I didn't want a shower with favors and games, and I didn't want a fancy invitation where we had to spend two times as much on stamps so we could include a card people had to send back to RSVP. We imagined our food would be some kind of super casual buffet, so there was no need to ask people if they preferred chicken or fish four months ahead of time.
We did want to have one pre-wedding party, kind of an engagement party and shower rolled in to one. I will talk about this party later on as well (I am clearly a master of suspense). But what I want to talk about now are the invitations. We wanted people to have all the information on the engagement party and the reception in one document, so instead of the traditional invitation with bows and glitter (and all those stamps), I made a flyer on Vistaprint.
It had all the info on the party, asking people to RSVP to a hotmail address I had created just for this occasion. We also created a wedding website on the knot, where people could go and RSVP to the reception. This was all explained in the flyer/invitation. There was just one problem... NOBODY F&@%ING READS ANYTHING. A week or so before the engagement party I emailed everyone who hadn't replied and reminded them what they needed to do. The same thing for the reception, and I think I know why there was some confusion there - with our flyer, we had also included a "save the date" magnet.
Adorable? Yes. But also confusing, because I think when someone gets a "save the date" they expect a more formal invitation to follow. So I can see why they might have thought something else was on its way, and needed to be reminded to go to our website and let us know if they were coming or not. Also, I think a lot of family members told us they were coming, verbally, and didn't think they had to respond online. I guess that makes sense, but it was super helpful to have everything on the knot, because it would let you look at a quick snapshot of how many guests to expect, how many had replied, and so on.
So, I highly recommend making a website on the knot. You can put all your information on it for your guests to see, and manage a lot of aspects of your wedding on there. I also suggest Vistaprint (if you're not married to the idea of the traditional invitation). We got WAY too many flyers and magnets (because we are geniuses and thought, "oh we are inviting 125 people so we need 125 flyers," not thinking that most of those were couples, and then it was 14 cents cheaper if you ordered double of everything, so we couldn't afford NOT to!!), and we also got adorable return address labels, all for under $125. Just make sure you're clear with your guests about when/how to RSVP, and expect to have a few who don't get it and need a gentle reminder. It's the price you pay for simplicity (and you save SO much on stamps).
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